It's Early in the Morning, About a Quarter to Three

It was three in the morning. I was exhausted, I was in the backseat of a black Lincoln headed to (of all shit holes to be in at 3AM) LaGuardia airport. I had work to do, a lot of it. I was exhausted, did I say that? I don't know how many of you have made this same observation about car services in the city but for some reason they are always bumping pop club remix tunes, no matter the hour. I have never heard this type of music and not thought wow, this is a little excessive. I put in my headphones to focus, to clear my bleary eyes and mind. We rounded North, the perimeter of Brooklyn, via the BQE to this song and the image of Manhattan before dawn.


This life is so sexy and so unreal. I don't think any one of us are living as or what we supposed. We need to move. We need to notice also, possess awareness, but we can't take so much time that we miss out. Life is always challenging and awesome and I used to think that there was something about being a grown up that would make sense. Like it was merely a threshold that you could step over. Really, so much more makes sense with the understanding that it's always the same tell-tale process, "the more you know, the more you realize you don't know." I don't buy into the highly edited and digitized exhibitionistic display of having it all from peers, or strangers, or celebrities, or anyone. Benzodiazepine Rx's are far too common to believe that myth.

Time is democratic, it allows each of us the same amount equally and each of us can only take it one day, one hour, at a time.

No time is convenient, and waiting for that perfect moment will keep you stuck forever. The trick is understanding yourself well enough to cope and not allowing yourself to become overwhelmed (Xanax anyone? kidding...) but to keep moving, keep furthering, keep progressing, keep waking, keep dressing, keep checking off, keep cycling through; like light, like the earth's rotation, like the passing of atoms and molecules--we are not separate from these things, we must be energized by and through them.

coffee anyone?

Are you moving?

1 comment:

Steph said...

thanks for the nice comment on my blog yesterday. It's nice to hear from you! I'm enjoying your thought-provoking, though less-frequent blog posts. Hope your NYC leg of life's journey is treating you well.